Howdy, howdy, howdy!
I hope you’ve been enjoying Lew’s story so far. It’s been good to be able to spend some time focused in just on this series. Today’s chapter gives a new glimpse into Ruby’s story.
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Now, please enjoy Ruby’s Story!
That night in the greenhouse felt like it went on forever…
I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t even stay still. I would be in one position for a while and then my feathers would itch or my wing would suddenly need to shift.
The rain continued against the glass of the greenhouse, never ending. It added to the sense of being locked in, of being sealed in, as if we were trapped in one big glass raindrop.
My brain was tired. It felt like there were only five different possible thoughts that I could have, and those five same thoughts were on a constant frustrating loop in my head.
Finally, I took a break from trying to sleep.
I looked to a nearby branch and saw Joan all set up and fast asleep – or at least it appeared that way.
I heard a very light clicking sound echo out among the constant mumble of the rain. It was something inside the greenhouse. I listened in. The click could be heard every five or so seconds.
I looked around from the perch of my branch. The light in the greenhouse was soft and dark, lit only by a faint light post in the courtyard outside, as well as the occasional bright flicker of lightning.
In a moment of lightning, I caught the glimmer of Ruby’s red feathers. She was tucked away in the corner of the greenhouse, her back turned.
I ventured down from my branch in the tree and made my way over to Ruby.
She was standing on a little table against the wall of the greenhouse. Beside her were two small piles of pistachios, one pile shelled and the other unshelled. I watched on as Ruby worked with flawless precision. She would stand on the bottom part of the shell’s edge and then lift up the top part with her beak, eventually cracking the pistachio free. She did it without any mistakes, one after the other.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Preparing breakfast for us in the morning,” she said, continuing to open pistachios. “The light is best over here in this corner at night. Plus, I didn’t want to disturb you guys. Did I wake you?”
“No, not at all,” I said. “I can’t sleep anyway.”
“It can be hard to slow down a stressed mind,” she said.
“You bet,” I said. “I suppose you can’t sleep either?”
“I’m usually still awake around this time,” said Ruby. “I don’t need much sleep.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked.
“I’m not sure,” she said. “I like that it gives me time to prepare for the next day.”
I suddenly felt calmer while I was with Ruby. It was a pleasant break from the urgent feeling of wanting to sleep but not being able to.
“How long have you lived in this greenhouse?” I asked.
“A long time now,” she said.
“Are there any other red robins that live with you here?” I asked.
I was worried that I had asked something rude. I think, deep down, I already knew the answer.
“No,” she said with a smile. “Just me.”
I wanted to ask her if she ever got lonely, but it felt like a childish question.
She read my mind.
“I like living alone,” she went on. “It makes things simpler. It sounds mean, but I don’t have to worry about looking after other birds. It’s just me. I don’t have to stress as much. I get my food from working at the billboard club and I come home. I eat and I sleep. Life is hard in this city. Life is hard everywhere. I’m grateful for what I have and I don’t try to mess with things.”
“Has it always been like that?” I asked.
“I didn’t grow up like you and Joan and Francois. You guys were all raised in families. Even if you’re not with them anymore. I never had that. I never had a mum or a dad or brothers and sisters. I’ve barely even had friends. Except for you guys, of course. I’ve just always been alone. I like it that way.”
“But if there’s no one teaching you, how do you know what to do?” I asked her. “I would just be so lost. I already feel like I never know what to do.”
“I learn from life,” said Ruby. “I developed a system that allows me to get by. I was born in this city and I’ve learnt how to live in it. This place is my home, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.”
“This city feels like a hard place to grow up,” I said.
“You get used to it,” said Ruby. “You eventually get to know how things work. You find your little spot and you stay in it. It’s not a perfect life, but it’s a life.”
She had finished opening the pistachios.
“It’s been a tough day,” she said. “You should get some rest.”
“I know,” I said despairingly.
Ruby offered an empathetic smile. “How you get to sleep tonight is the same way that you’re going to get through this whole mess that’s going on – through calm and gentle focus. Here’s what you do. This is how I get to sleep. You go back to your branch and you take a moment to settle and get comfortable. Really take your time. You then stop and listen to and feel your breath. Pick a number. A big number. Then count backwards. Your mind will wander. That’s what minds do. Just keep coming back to the numbers.”
I smiled back at her. “Goodnight, Ruby.”
“Goodnight, Lew.”
I flew back up to my branch and made myself comfortable. I felt my breath -- inhaling, exhaling. I picked my number and started counting backwards. My mind wandered. I brought it back. Tomorrow was coming no matter what. I might as well get some rest.
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a fantastic week!
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